Let People be Themselves

by Tony Durso

At first, or even second glance, the title of this blog probably makes no sense. What does letting people be themselves have anything to do with sales? I will explain and then give some amazing examples of application. This article is for everyone (sales trainers take note for your salesman training):

First of all, you are going to find that it is quite difficult to sell anyone anything if you have any considerations or objections to the type of person that you are speaking with. If you think the person is too tall, too small, too fat, too thin, wrong gender, wrong orientation, etc., then you are setting yourself up to fail. — Do you really think you can sell someone if you dislike the person? Well, I’m sure many people try. Can you just let a person be himself? Try it. Just let people be people. Do not attempt to change someone; just let the person be himself or herself period.

When I meet someone who does nothing but talk about other people and what’s wrong with them, well, I get bored very quickly and want to move on. I could care less if the other person is green, blue, or upside-down. It just does not matter. All that matters is that that is what the other person wants to be.

The only time I get in trouble, or get into arguments with anyone, is when I fail to let the other be himself or herself. I don’t think it is possible to get into a fight with someone if you totally allow the other person to be. Take a look at an earlier blog about a Jedi Mind Trick. That is one application of its use; but wait, there’s more:

You have no doubt heard somewhere in your lifetime that “French people are rude.” Perhaps you have even witnessed it yourself. Well, I have news for you. Despite popular opinion, I find that to not be so. In fact, I find the French people to be some of the nicest people in this world. Crazy I am, you will say. — I had a person tell me that right to my face, “you’re nuts!” he said. He spent a few weeks in France and wouldn’t go back there if you put a gun to his head…



Well, that is interesting as I find the French people so nice that they would rip out their hearts and give it to me on a silver platter—and I was not trying to sell anyone in France anything, as I was on vacation. I just find them amazingly nice and pleasant.

How can this be? By letting them be themselves. -- Some years ago, I spent a month in France with my wife. North and South France; and several weeks in Paris. We never met a rude person! Just didn’t happen. But I did meet Americans who said that the French were rude to them! I cleared each person up on how to properly interact with the French, and I am sure they were fine after that.

All you have to do is let the French person know that he or she exists. Let the person know that you see that he or she is there. Say, “hello” in French before asking for anything else. And then the person will do anything you want. Don’t try to change them; just enjoy them!

I hope you see the moral of this story. May it help you in your salesman training to be better at dealing with people.

The Black Book of Sales Secrets will help you Generate High Interest to Sell Anything.

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